I am strong chai
she sings sweet and aviary, laughs like bubbling brooks and babies
she carries gentle breezes in her step and love in her arms
sunlight reflects in her eyes
my eyes are dark and mysterious, deep midnight oceans and just as torrid
I laugh like weary sharecroppers and lost minds
no gentility in my steps but thunder and lightning
and I keep my soul in the eye of the storm
and we love her
she is our grandmothers crown and glory
corona so brilliant
and we love her
fear her pain, want to be proved worthy, bring her smile
feel the strength in her hands on our cheeks
I am my grandmothers vengeance, their wrath incurred
mistrust from my day sister is all I have of her
and men fear me, the strongest of my tribe, lose grace of speech in my presence
and hold close their fears, wear them on their shoulders like capes
and I am scarred and bloody can't find graceful
walk with
heavy sword at my hip
and yet in some moments I soar
and I am tired and wish to be longed for
weary of the loneliness of having few equals and no one to climb this mountain with
and my spirit grows so much it begins to float on to heaven
how I wish there were loving hands to pull me back again
rather than just violence and work
just want to be somebody's baby sometimes
want grandmothers to smile on me with pride and joy
more than surreal visions that start me from sleep, in cold sweats
visions of their eyes from red lands, in languages I understand only then
calling urgently for my growth and demanding their justice
want the tears in my eyes to finally fall on someone's lap
need to know my work means something and I have value here and now not just eternally
want to trade courage for love and tempestuous walk for strong lasting embrace
and be normal, if I can't be like her, be like every day, not the day of uprising
but the grandmothers won't be denied and I am their weapon
I am forced atonement not adornment
so I will rest my weary bones to revive myself
cleanse sword with my tears
listen hard for the wind
watch you fly to her, her arms recieve you
bask momentarily in the glory of day and sun
and plunge back into the night
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